Still haven’t beat the third opponent. I can actually get a good volley going once I get over the initial learning curve.

The trick to returning the ball seems to be to face/look in the direction you want the ball to go, not at the ball itself, so it’s easiest if you strafe your way to one side of the ball’s path while still facing forward. It then requires at least a bit of “charging up” the right or left mouse button before letting go to actually perform a strong enough swing. And you need to use the right mouse button if you’ve positioned the ball to your right, and the left button if the ball is on your left.

I played again and this time she refused to serve the ball after I had gotten to match point in my favor. A very poor sport, she is!

I don’t know what kind of sick, twisted mind came up with these controls. After much suffering I beat the game and I can proudly say the only thing I could do successfully was the Lob, which apparently is enough.

I recommend having Snazzy Tennis on a different tab while playing this. Perfect way to relax from the frustration of the controls without losing the tennis mindset.

I decided I’d go over and see if she was okay, but my very strong sense of politeness kicked in and stopped me from crossing around the net. I tried again on the right side of the court and managed to overcome my reticence, but out of shame at such a transgression I just kept walking, leaving the court and my opponent behind.

I crossed the bridge thinking ‘what a lovely day it is, the trees showering their petals,’ but a few steps later I was suddenly transported many, many meters above the ground. Is my opponent a witch? Was she mad at me for leaving her? What would she have done if I had won?

The ground growing closer and closer, I began to grow concerned. Landing didn’t hurt too badly, but now my feet are stuck inside of a small mound and I can’t walk any more. I fear she has changed me into a tree? I can’t even turn around to see if she is laughing.