Comments on: Simmons (Ashton Raze)

By: Phack

Phack — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 19:32:05 +0000

I liked the "you're playing a game!" moments. The "narrator" is toying with you in this game. The switching between 1st and 3rd person had a similar effect for me. I agree that it's a commentary on playing games. On how we can adopt new personas when we immerse ourselves in a game, perhaps. This author has another really good Twine story that is much different and quite funny: Don't Read the Comments!

By: Kitty Horrorshow

Kitty Horrorshow — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 16:26:20 +0000

It struck me as a sort of commentary on the player/character relationship that, a bit like Twine itself, was at times narrative and at times gamelike. That was just my interpretation though. Still pretty entertaining overall.

By: Porpentine

Porpentine — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 04:58:57 +0000

it felt a little out of place to me as well, maybe because the story is so excellently written and immersive

By: 400cats

400cats — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 04:11:59 +0000

This is really excellent. I’ve read narratives similar to this before in which you “are” the character, but they were always a bit too meta or heavy-handed to be convincing. Here, you’re drawn in right from the beginning, and for the first part of the game, there’s a total sense of powerlessness that is truly frightening. This deserves two readings; on my second go-through, some inconsequential details were illuminated in an interesting way.

I only question why video game references are shoehorned in at various points; I understand they are facetious, but they don’t really add anything and I don’t know what purpose they serve. A lot of Twine stories/games/whatever seem to put in random references to video game conventions as if to make fun of the notion of Twine as a “game platform” and be self-referential, but every time I see one I feel like it interrupts all the momentum the story has going for it and replaces it with snark (maybe its just a personal preference of mine and i should shut up).